In the midst of life . . .

As the years gather speed, I realise more and more that death is an ever constant companion on the journey - of course death has always been there but when you are young, with a life time before you death is not something you think too too much about. The young are too busy living life to the full - they are immortal - and then we are all so busy working, caring for our families, or filling our lives with all the things that we encompass in our modern lives.


Death happens, we all get together at the funeral saying "we must make time to meet before another funeral comes along" but somehow life over takes us like a speeding train running out of control. It is when life's speeding train starts to slow down as our bodies do that we realise our 'clock of life' is also going to stop one day.

On Saturday, when I went along for a game of croquet, I heard the news that one of our friends had died. Toby was a truly inspirational and courageous human being. He will be sorely missed but every time my friends and I play croquet in Te Aroha Domain we will remember him. 


Today is the 18th. anniversary of my beloved Chris's death. With each passing year I have come to learn that love is eternal, that Chris really is my soulmate and that life does go on even when we have been torn asunder. I have learnt that love is the bridge, that I can make something of my life without Chris because of what I had with him in life and that every moment we live counts.

I am blessed in so many different ways with my beautiful family, a lovely home and cherished memories.

I have learnt to live the life I choose with friends I choose to share time with and to avoid anything that will disturb the balance of my life. Most of all I continue to learn that love is everything and to show it wherever I can because love in all it's aspects is what truly what gives meaning to my life. 

“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”  Shakespeare

In memory of Chris, and to Toby as he begins his new journey, I share this poem I wrote after Chris died.

In Autumn’s splendour you were called away

When the russet red leaves danced in glorious display.

Your spirit so strong and independent has gone to rest,

And we who mourn your passing know it’s really for the best.

It made us sad to see you suffer across the passing years,

Now you are freed from pain and grief and we are left in tears.

But through our tears, we know your love is always here,

Healing our hearts with memories so tender and so dear.

Every blessing go with you, as you journey to that other land

Where we can neither follow or take you by the hand.

Our love is with you always, as yours is forever in our heart.

Your life on earth is finished but a new one is about to start.

No matter where you go, no matter that we can’t follow

In love with are united as well as in our mutual sorrow

Past hurts will be forgiven, as a new day dawns today

Your spirit is now free, so let go and fly, fly, fly away.

Celebrating Birthdays

I grew up with a family tradition where birthdays were a real occasion for celebration and I carried this on with my family. This month our family has two birthdays to celebrate, one was celebrating the eighth  birthday of my youngest grandson, Mitchell, (seen in the photo with his Dad, my son Grant, and his Grandpa Charles.)

It seems only yesterday that Mitch was a baby - now he's a fine young boy who loves, rugby, soccer, fishing and Reece Marstin. Where does the time go - it seems only yesterday that his father was turning eight!


Mitchell's previous birthdays have been celebrated with a party but now he's growing up his Dad decided on something a bit different to celebrate his special day and asked Mitchell if he'd like to go to the Warrior's game last Saturday and Mitchell was wrapped! They had a ball and certainly celebrated in style the way that families do.


The coming birthday we are celebrating is for my second oldest grandson, Beau, who will be twenty one and that's going to be a real family and close friends affair with all the traditional trimmings. Taking a lead from the Roman playwright Titus Maccius Plautus who said - "Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words" we will make the occasion an unforgettable one for Beau. Following the 'ancient' traditions my daughter has acquired the obligatory male ritual twenty first symbol - a yard glass - (what would we do without Trademe?) and of course there is the traditional 'key' to the door, (however it will be in a more modern format as with most young adults Beau has been independent for many years and had a key long ago) the cake, presents and much more.

It will be a time for speeches, looking back over the twenty one years and celebrating Beau who we love so much. How fast the years have passed - one minute he was a newborn baby who had to spend some time in an incubator but who being the little fighter he was he took that in his stride and went on to steal our hearts and our love. Now he stands on the threshold of his adult life with all the potential that life offers with all it's choices, decisions, hopes, dreams, responsibilities, frustrations, expectations, sorrow, joy and happiness.

Beau you have your life before you

To make of it what you will

Learn all you can from life's experiences

Be kind to your fellow travellers

You will meet along the way

Listen and hear what they have to say

It might come in handy one day

I wish you much laughter, joy and fulfillment

As you journey on through life

May you follow your heart and find your bliss

Know what it is to be truly contented

And to be brave enough to follow a dream

No matter how crazy, fanciful or extreme

Always  look for the good in others

Always value all that is good in yourself

Be proud of who you are, of what you achieve

Knowing you can create the life you dream of

Because of your inner belief in yourself

I wish you lasting love, the best of health

Much happiness and comfortable wealth

Yes, birthdays are to be celebrated, for from the day we come into the world we make our mark on life. We have the potential to make a difference, to give and receive love, to change things for the better and to leave the world a better place and add a richness to the lives of those we leave behind. Each year that passes is precious, this is not a rehearsal - so take heed for as Abraham Lincoln so wisely said  "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Moments of Bliss

Today was a glorious day. A day full of those blissful moments when nature shines in all her autumn beauty and I can delight in life's simple pleasures.


It was a day to celebrate life. A day to appreciate the simple joys of my family and friends. Of enjoying my garden and having a great game of croquet with my friend Mary, in the Domain under mount Te Aroha.


With all the news of war and killing, of famine and poverty overseas and all political posturing in this country it is good to take a step back and focus on the moment and just enjoy the beauty of the rich colours pf the autumn leaves, of late blooming roses, of fruit picked from the trees and vegetables from the garden.


I really enjoy the simple pleasures such as making crab apple or rose hip jelly, homemade soups and chocolate muffins of smelling fresh mown grass and autumn bonfires; of hearing the tuis in my kowhai tree or the incoming ducks to the nearby wetlands with the duck shooting season upon us again - how do they know when it's that time of year again?


Yes, on a day like today that began with a crisp chilly morning, then blossomed into clear blue skies, warm sun a gentle breeze I enjoyed moments of sheer bliss at being alive. 


Today was a 'Carpe diem' day when I could seize the day, enjoy the moment.and give thanks for moments of bliss and simple pleasures.

Life is all a matter of choice

If we have nothing else in life we always have
a choice of how we live, what direction we take in life
and how we react to what life presents us with

Beside the gift of having a capacity to love one another, one of the other most precious things we have is the gift of 'choice' - of choosing how we live and how we react to what life presents us with. 'Life is the sum of all your choices,' said French writer, Albert Camus and how true that is.

I have come to realise that one of the most important thing in life for me in making the choices I do, is to follow my instincts and my heart.It is all about knowing when to stand up for my rights, values or principles and when to let-go or when to walk away from a situation. 


The Desiderata (by lawyer Max Ehrmann) says - 'As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. This is certainly a philosophy I try to follow now that I am enjoying the autumn years of my life. Life is now all about a more gentle, peaceful journey; of lessening the stress and enjoying the moment. Life is about crossing those bridges we are constantly presented with on our journey however, as David Russell the Scottish classical Guitarist (b.1942) said 'The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.'  


I certainly haven't always made the right choices but whenever I reached an important crossroad in my life I have followed my instincts, my heart and the choices I made have all shaped me to become the person I now am. I am content with those choices and so glad I had the courage to make them.


Being true to myself was something I was constantly encouraged to be in my formative years and it is as important to me now as it was then.


Life is a precious gift. Choice is a special gift. Both are to be celebrated every moment and these words by Mother Teresa say it all for this is not a rehearsal - Life is to be lived now and the choices we make shape our lives and who we are.

In Memory Of

George Bernard Shaw said, "We learn from history that we learn nothing from history." On this day - ANZAC Day - we remember all those who were lost in the first, second and subsequent wars and today I remember the father who gave me life but who I never knew because he was killed before I was born.


I don't know his name or anything about him except that he was a Scot who was in the RAF and was killed in the second world war.


The father who adopted me was a pacifist and I have always believed in the utter futility of war. Yet wars are still being fought and men, women and children still die because of wars. 


Will we ever learn? Those who start wars have obviously never read Otto von Bismarck's words - 'Anyone who has ever looked into the glazed eyes of a soldier dying on the battlefield will think hard before starting a war.'


So today I remember the father I never knew and thank him for giving me life and forever being a part of me, for of course he lives on in me - in my DNA, my characteristics and in who I am. He also lives on in my children and grandsons and we remember him - we remember him.


There is a wonderful poem by John Gillespie Magee Jnr. entitled 'High Flight' and I include it in memory of my unknown father.

‘High Flight’

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

Some years ago I had a trip to Italy and visited Monte Cassino where so many brave men died. All those pristine white headstones stretching as far as the eye could see - so many broken hearts, broken lives, so much pain and so much grief lay entombed among the graves.

I was born in the war but can only remember the sound of the air raid warning and having to hide under the stairs. I pray that one day mankind learns the way towards a peaceful existence but in memory of all who have died through the countless wars mankind has raged throughout the centuries, and especially the Great War this poem says it all. However, may the 'torch' that was passed on be to light the way to peace not war.

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915 - The Canadian military doctor and artillery commander

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

We Shall Remember Them

Youth and Age

This last week has been of experiencing the generations particularly youth and age and it brings into sharp focus for me how the onset of the latter years is fast approaching! A sobering thought. Life is a series of opening and closing doors - or gates - as we progress through life. We pass from our birth and infant years, to childhood, then the teenage years and into adulthood. 


We mature and hopefully reach a balanced and fulfilling time of life. Then we move into the autumn of our lives and as the years pass (if we are so blessed) we age be it gracefully or disgracefully, be it willingly or unwillingly until death comes to take us by the hand into that unknown land.


I was thrust into the complex and exhilarating word of four teenage boys during the holidays, with testosterone raging, loud music, mood swings, changing emotions, sibling rivalry, and energy to die for. Watching my two grandsons and their mates was a pure delight. My grandsons seemed to have grown over night from those laughing little toddlers to these teenagers obsessed with clothes, (how I wish they would wear a belt to keep those jeans up instead of having them barely hanging on their slender hips) carefully styled hairdo, girls  who are 'cool'  and the ever present  gadgets such as iphones glued to their ears and the ever present mobiles for constant txting!


Fortunately though,  'youth is a disease from which we all recover,' as Dorothy Fulheim said.


They really were invigorating, funny, infuriating and frustrating all at the same time but I love them to bits. They put up with Nan's hugs and kisses and my house rules and were a great help in the garden but most of all they were like a breathe of fresh air as the years slipped away for the time they were with me.



It seemed only yesterday that my three sons were that age now my daughter has four sons of her own. It was a time for my daughter and I to celebrate the joys of  being mothers.It was a time to share the love and importance of family and friends.

My grandsons, Codey & Rory - 'Oh the years of youth with
the future before you and where the world is your oyster!'

In complete contrast I took an older friend of mine to see an elderly friend of ours who had recently  suffered quite a severe stroke and was in a local rest-home. We knew that our friend had good mobility and could feed herself but that her speech was affected but to what degree we weren't sure. Our friend met us at the door having seen (and recognised) us from the lounge. We went to her room and it was there that we realised how badly her speech had been affected. It was as though all the speech 'wires' in her brain had been crossed and what came out was a confused jumble of words.

This was an intelligent, lively woman in her eighties who still ran the local line dancing, was still active in our local dramatic society, albeit now the queen of the kitchen as opposed to the stage and who took an active interest in local affairs. 

It was heart-breaking. It left us feeling so helpless and sad for our friend who was struggling to tell us what she needed to yet unable to have the words come out in an intelligible order for us to understand. Yet, miraculously we did intuitively have a sense, a feeling of what our friend was trying desperately to convey to us and we gave her our undivided attention for the time we were with her.

'You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.'  ~Douglas MacArthur


But when something like a stroke happens life can be overwhelming. For this 'young at heart' elderly woman life has dealt a cruel blow yet despite it all she still has the will to get better, to battle on and to get her message out. To go back home is her goal and only time will tell if she can achieve her dream.


This visit made me realise how precious each day is, and to make the most of every single one for unlike youth, old age is not something we can recover from but as Brigette Bardot said -"It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen". 

Like the rose we are born, we blossom and we die
with each stage having the potential to hold
life in all it's glory, richness and beauty

Sharing Experiences

Celebrants sharing experiences
in Tauranga over lunch

When a group of celebrants get together we can talk for hours sharing our experiences so much so that we could easily write a really entertaining book about them. Today I met with some of my celebrant colleagues from around the Coromandel who are members of the Celebrants Association of New Zealand Inc. During a delightful lunch at the Tastebuds Cafe just south of Thames, we managed to exchange an amazing amount of stories, useful information and ideas.  


Three hours later we had certainly come to know each other a great deal better and learnt a great deal about one another and our work.


Networking such as this is such a valuable process especially when, as celebrants, we work on our own and living where we all do, are quite a distance from one another and the main centres. Today was a first for those of us living in the wide flung Coromandel/Hauraki area and it was really worthwhile, so much so that we are going to keep in touch from now on via email and meet every three months.


Personally, I have never had a problem sharing my resources, experience or how I have dealt with the various queries and challenges that celebrants are presented during their work with my fellow celebrants. My philosophy is that we are there to assist one another in whatever way we can and it is usually a two-way process for we learn from one another. My celebrant colleagues today shared my philosophy so the two-way process was very evident.


As I have said many times, Celebrancy is such a privilege. It is extremely personal, creative and interesting on so many levels. We meet people of diverse cultures, beliefs and professions. We come into our clients lives at particularly exciting or sensitive times and help them celebrate those important moments in their lives with empathy, integrity and professionalism. From these experiences we are blessed and enriched beyond measure.


Oscar Wilde said 'that experience is the name we give to our mistakes;' how true that is for it is through those mistakes that we learn what not to do and so improve our standard of work. By networking with colleagues we learn new ways of doing things, we learn to look at a situation from another point of view and we learn those vital little tricks of the trade. We also refresh our memories of things that worked well for us in a ceremony, are shown different ways of incorporating ritual and symbolism into ceremony and widen our knowledge of the many cultural aspects celebrants have to deal with today.


I totally agree with the 20th century French author and philosopher, Albert Camus, who  said - "You can't create experience. You must undergo it.'  We can listen to our colleague's experiences and take them on board but it is only by dealing with what is presented to us and creating our solutions, ideas and using our initiative that we truly learn - that is experience. 


Today my fellow celebrants and I shared our experiences and celebrated the many privilege and satisfaction our work brings us and in doing so enriched each other. We added to our knowledge and went home the better for it.


And as Albert Einstein said so succinctly  - "the only source of knowledge is experience.'

My 19 year old grandson experiences snow for
the first time. Now he knows what it really feels like!

Treasured Memories

Loving memories are with us forever

A trip to Wellington to stay with my lovely friends, Lois and Peter, this week was a time of sharing stories, renewing friendships and creating memories to treasure.


We create memories every day we live; some we treasure, some we want to forget but all make up the colourful, metaphorical tapestry  that we each weave on this journey called life.


Our memories are stored in our minds, like the files on our computers and because our brains can store so much information we can replay those treasured memories at will or when something triggers a particular memory, such as a piece of music, a scene, words or a particular scent.


As the American author, poet and naturalist, Diane Ackerman, states in her book 'A Natural History of the Senses'  'Nothing is more memorable than a smell.  One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town.  Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines hidden under the weedy mass of years.  Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once.  A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth. 


Being a Marriage Celebrant one of the things I really wanted to do in Wellington was visit the 'Unveiled Exhibition.' This exhibition comprises 200 years of gorgeous wedding fashion, featuring dresses from one of the world’s most superb collections - the Victoria and Albert Museum in London. Each beautiful gown or accessory held treasured memories both personally, for their original owners and from the historical fashions point of view. 


They also evoked special childhood memories for me as, from an early age, I was taken to the Victoria and Albert Museum, along with all the other London Museums and Art Galleries by my father, my Papa. My love of history and art was conceived during those visits and blossomed and flourished into a an inquiring passion to know more. I would squirrel away each experience in my memory banks to be re-awakened at a later date.


'Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us,' wrote Oscar Wilde, in his wonderfully witty and memorable play 'The Importance of Being Earnest,' and how true that is. Particularly when someone we love dies, for nothing not even death can destroy the many  memories made across the years or the love enfolded in them.


Mind you, I do find I am getting a tad forgetful sometimes these days but when I came across these wise words by Friedrich Nietzsche I felt  much better - 'The existence of forgetting has never been proved:  We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them.'  


When my husband died memories swirled around me, they took me on a roller coaster ride of grief ridden emotions and feelings. Each memory was bitter sweet - a bitter sweet comfort to wrap myself in. Music would and still does of course bring particular memories into sharp focus but the pain of loss is bearable now.

A roller coaster ride of grief ridden
emotions and feelings

Today I took a ceremony to honour and celebrate the life of the father of some close friends of mine and memories filled the funeral chapel with the warmth of love and light evoking much laughter as well as the tears. Each memory was filled with love and love over-arched every word that was spoken. 

Writer Thornton Wilder said it all when he wrote 'there is a land of the living and a land of the dead - and the bridge is love.' I think we could add 'memory' to that bridge for it's our ability to use our memory to remember and bring to life our loved ones who have died, that somehow makes grief more bearable over time. Like the audio-visual presentation that are shown in so many life celebrations today we are able to play a slide show of memories in our minds.

However I discovered in my grief journey that life goes on and there comes a time when we all have to move on too. However I was able to do this knowing that my store of memories was always there when evoked or when I chose to delve into them.

The 19th. century Christian writer Margaret Fairless Barber expresses it so well in her book  of meditations entitled, 'The Roadmender'  - 'To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward.'

'To look back for a while
is to refresh the eye'

I enjoy looking back through the memory banks of my mind back but my focus is always on the future for that's where my journey of life is taking me and that's what makes my life so exciting.
  

Letting go . . .

Is something we all need to do at various stages in life  yet we often find the process of 'letting go' a real challenge. However, if we don't 'let go' of certain things in life we cannot move on; we become trapped like the fly caught in the spider's web; we allow co-dependency to control us so we never  discover that all we need in life is within us. We continue to blame life, the past, others, as well as what life presents us with instead of 'letting go' and being free to move on.


American author, motivational speaker and philanthropist, Steve Maraboli sums it up beautifully in his book "Life, the Truth and Being Free' when he states - “The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” Something I have been learning to do all my life.


From 'letting go' my dream of going to university when my father decided I must become a hairdresser because if I had a good trade I would never go without, to 'letting go' the fact that in my innocence when I married my ex-husband I would be able to change him - it took a while before I learnt that only we can change ourselves. One by one I had to learn to 'let go' of my children so that they could make their own journey in life. I had to learn that, as I had,  they had to make their own mistakes, fight their own battles and become who they wanted to be not what I wanted them to be.


As a loving parent I did the best I could with the 'tools' I had at the time but I couldn't always protect them from life, they had to learn to protect themselves and to grow and become the wonderful adults they now are. I also had to realise I couldn't hold on to them or live my life through my children or grandchildren. Avoiding the issue by constantly filling my life with 'doing' or looking every where other than myself meant I wasn't allowing myself to 'let go' and so depend on myself and my own inner strengths. 


Day by day I learn that when I do 'let go' I am free to move on and in doing so "All shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well," as the mystic, Julian of Norwich wrote. This was my mantra when Chris died as I learnt to slowly 'let go' knowing deep down  that in time 'all would be well.'


Buddhists philosophy speaks of letting go of our desires - our craving or perceived need for something - for desire brings suffering. Letting go and desiring less brings a greater contentment to life and as I grow older I find this to be an essential truth. So I am working hard on the de-cluttering process in my home (to my kids delight!) even letting go of some of my precious books and the many 'things' I have collected or been given over the years. 


Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor  and philosopher, wrote - 'Men (or women-my addition) seek out retreats for them selves, cottages in the country, lonely seashores and mountains. Thou too art disposed to hanker greatly after such things: and yet all this is the very commonest stupidity; for it is in they power, whenever thou wilt, to retire into thyself: and nowhere is there any place whereto a man (or a woman) may retire quieter and more freely. . . than his (her) own soul.'

By 'letting go' we allow ourselves to move onward
and so fulfil our destiny on the journey of life

The process of 'letting go' can be extremely powerful and healing especially if incorporated in a ritual or ceremony. For example, writing down what you want to 'let go' of and then ritually burning the paper in a safe way, or verbalising it and casting your words into the wind, or silently saying the words and symbolising the 'letting go' by casting a flower or leaf upon the waters. Such a ritual had a powerful effect on my youngest son, Kent, and I some years ago and this has made a big difference to our ability to the ongoing process of 'letting go' whenever we still need to.

When I was going through a time of deep grief after my Chris died and learning to 'let go' in a major way I wrote this poem and it seems a positive note to end on today.

            Our Book of Life

Life is a book with it’s pages blank

on which we write our own special story.

What we write depends on us,

the way we live and how we react

to all the pain and the glory.

We can embrace life, live life to the full.

We can soak up it’s beauty, learn all we can.

We can challenge ourselves to grow and develop,

or we can stand still cocooned behind walls, brittle as glass.

We can live behind masks, decayed in the spirit,

with hearts bitter and heavy, entombed in our past,

Barren in love, shadowed in hate.

We each have a choice in the paths that we take,

in the chapters we write, in the way that we live.

We each have the answer inside deep within us,

if only we listen

if only we listen.

In silence comes the answer, so clear and so true

just unlock the light and let it shine through.

Let that still inner voice, so real and so true,

bring the peace you so desire

knowing that Love is always

there, deep in your heart forever

If only you let go.

Wanda Brittain ©

Water. . .

is essential for life
it is cleansing 
it is purifying.


Life first began in the oceans depths aeon's ago
just as a new life floats in the waters of the womb


Falling as rain, water nourishes the earth, the crops and plants and without it life dies.


Water is sacred. It is life-giving and blesses us every day. Water blesses a new life as the baby is cleansed after birth; as the baby is named and Christians are made new in the ritual of baptism. Many cultures have rituals and ceremonies centred on rivers that they hold sacred such as the river Ganges for Hindu in India. Despite the Ganges or 'Gangaji' or 'Ganga Maiya' (Mother Ganga) as it is called by Hindu, being extremely polluted, bathing in it's holy waters is considered cleansing and purify as well as bringing heavenly blessings to the bather. The river Jordan is likewise held as sacred because it is where Jesus was baptised by John the Baptist


Water is associated with healing in many cultures and beliefs. In pagan times sacred springs or wells were often associated with a God or Goddess and worshipped as sacred places for healing or where wishes or prayers were made by believers. Later they were often called wishing wells. Thousands of pilgrims flock to Lourdes in France, where the Virgin Mary appeared to a peasant girl, to be healed and across the centuries people visited spa towns such as Bath in England, Baden-Baden in Germany and even Te Aroha where I live, to bathe in the healing waters. 


I encourage you to come and 'take the waters' and enjoy the sheer luxury of soaking in the Te Aroha Spas - the perfect way to relax and ease those aching joints! Go to the spa website www.tearohapools.co.nz/ to find out more.

My Naming Bowl - made from clay from the earth,
with a crystal stone with paua shell from the ocean 

When I take a Naming ceremony (a secular christening) I use water from the sacred Mount Te Aroha and put it into a special bowl that I use into which I put the following herbs and flowers because of their meaning - sage for wisdom, lavender for healing, thyme for long life, rosemary for remembrance, heartease symbolising the sorrows of life and rose petals for joy.

I then dip my hand in the water and making a circle on the baby's/child's head saying these words -

Water is the source of life, it is cleansing and healing

as I make the circle of life on (Name) forehead 

I welcome her/him into her family circle

and into the Circle of Life, with Love and Blessings.

Little child of Love and Light, 

I hereby name you, (Given Names) with water that is 

as clear as your spirit and as pure as your heart. 

With this water of life I bless you 

and wish you a long, fulfilling and joyful life.

Easter-New Beginnings

Easter time is about hope and new beginnings in life and life cannot exist without water. May all the blessings of Easter be yours, now and always.

As I have mentioned before, I have a pretty large resource library of poetry and prose that I call on for my ceremony work and one of my favourite authors is the late philosopher-poet, John O'Donohue. John never fails to inspire and uplift me with his beautifully insightful words. 


His poem entitled 'In praise of water' from his book of blessings entitled 'Benedictus' seems the perfect way to bring today's blog to an end. Enjoy.

In Praise of Water (excerpt) -John O'Donohue from 'Benedictus' his Book of Blessings

Let us bless the grace of water:

The imagination of the primeval ocean
Where the first forms of life stirred
And emerged to dress the vacant earth
With warm quilts of color.

The courage of a river to continue belief
In the slow fall of ground,
Always falling farther
Toward the unseen ocean.

Let us bless the humility of water,
The buoyancy of water
The innocence of water,
Flowing forth, without thought
Of what awaits it.

Water: voice of grief,
Cry of love,
In the flowing tear.

Water: vehicle and idiom
Of all the inner voyaging
That keeps us alive.

Blessed by water,
Our first mother.

The Sacred waters Lake Taupo
Tthe "heart" of the North Island according to Māori legend 

Blessings. . .

come in so many ways and yet often we forget to give thanks for them. Rather than counting our blessings we complain about what we don't have. I  know I have to remind myself now and then of how richly I am endowed with the many blessings in my life.


Blessings of sight so I can appreciate the beauty of a rose, a smile, a magnificent sunset, Te Aroha Mountain as the sun rises over it's tree clad slopes or watch my beloved family as we share time together.


Blessings of hearing so I can appreciate my favourite music, hearing the dawn chorus every morning, a child's laughter or the rousing cheers and applause as a couple seal their marriage vows with a kiss after I pronounce them Husband and Wife.


Blessings of having a voice - of being able to communicate verbally is certainly a major blessing for me but others may well like to debate that one! To be able to sing and read aloud to my children when they were young; to speak words of love and comfort to those I care for the most; to use the voice well is obviously an essential tool for a celebrant as well as being able to express opinions and speak my truth, all this means everything to me. As it would to everyone else I am sure.


I have so many blessings in my life and it's those seemingly small, everyday ones that mean so much, like waking up each morning, a smile from a stranger, the affirming feedback on a ceremony I've taken or an unexpected phone call from one of my family just to say "Hi Mum, how are you?"


Good Friday seems an appropriate day to reflect on my many blessings and I give thanks for each and every one. Life is fragile. It is transient and all we can be certain of is the present moment. 


Life brings joy and sorrow, it brings achievements and heartbreak but it also brings us choices in how we react to what life presents us with. Albert Camus, the French writer and playwright who was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, wrote 'Blessed are the hearts that can bend, they shall never be broken.'  


When my husband died nearly eighteen years ago I was sure my heart would break but in time I realised that although my life felt as though it had shattered into tiny pieces, that I had been ripped in two and that my heart would surely break,  life had to go on and so did I. And I have.


So today I give thanks for the blessings of having a heart that has been able to bend; that I am constantly learning to 'let-go,' to 'enjoy the moment,' and that I have a choice in how I adapt to life's challenges and opportunities. Today I celebrate my blessings and give thanks for the life I am given to live wherever it may lead me day to day. Jewish philosopher and theologian, Rabbi Abraham Heschel,  expresses it more far simply yet so beautifully . . . 

'Just to be is a blessing. 

Just to live is holy.' 

Another day dawns 

Life

Father and son one of Life's most precious gifts

. . . is a mystical gift; it holds endless possibilities, challenges and opportunities and Life is what we each make of it. What has inspired me throughout my life is how people throughout the ages have grasped life in both hands and lived it with a passion that is to be celebrated. No matter what Life presented them with, they rose above each challenge and using each one as a stepping stone to reach greater heights, to make the world a better place or to serve their fellow travellers on Life's journey, in one way or another.

However, for countless human reasons and circumstances, not everyone is endowed with such a positive attitude. As Oscar Wilde observed - “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” 

A Celebrant's work is focused on helping people celebrate Life in all it's many aspects. This is a wonderful privilege and for myself , I have learnt so much, and been enriched as, again and again, I am reminded how blessed I am with the Life that I have been given to live.

One of my heroines throughout my life has been, Mother Teresa, and her poem below, encapsulates so beautifully, the meaning of Life for me.

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. 

Life is beauty, admire it. 

Life is a dream, realize it. 

Life is a challenge, meet it. 

Life is a duty, complete it. 

Life is a game, play it. 

Life is a promise, fulfill it. 

Life is sorrow, overcome it. 

Life is a song, sing it. 

Life is a struggle, accept it. 

Life is a tragedy, confront it. 

Life is an adventure, dare it. 

Life is luck, make it. 

Life is too precious, do not destroy it. 

Life is life, fight for it.”     

The simple beauty of Nature is
one of Life's most glorious gifts

In the world of pain and struggle, war and hunger, growing inequality and despair that we live in today such words remind us that each and every one of on this planet are creating the world we live in. We can all make a difference - no matter how great or small a way - as Mother Teresa did. Living in New Zealand we have the power of the 'vote', we live in a free and democratic country so can voice our opinions, we can help bring about changes for good and we have opportunities those in other countries don't have.

Life is what we make it no matter what it presents us with. So today I celebrate my Life and give thanks for the precious gifts it offers me. Life is a beautiful gift and as this Life is not a rehearsal may Mother Teresa's words be inspiring to us all.

Each moment we live is an opportunity to celebrate Life and it's many gifts and challenges.