Affirming moments

Today I had an email from a celebrant colleague who wanted some help with creating an 'unveiling' ceremony for clients that she had taken a funeral for a year ago, as this would be her first 'unveiling.'


So I looked on my computer and under the Funeral/Life Celebration folder I found an unveiling ceremony I had taken in 2009 that I thought would be a good example for my colleague to get some ideas from.


I started reading it and I have to say it was quite an illuminating experience. Having been a Toastmistress for some 25 years and involved with amateur dramatics for nearly 40 I am used to self evaluation and can be quite hard on myself at times. However, reading the ceremony I had created for the family concerned was extremely affirming.


I love writing poetry for ceremony and had apparently written one especially for this occasion entitled 'In Kumeu Cemetery.'

Let us come into this place

In quiet remembrance.

This place of peace, this place of rest

Where we are reunited with our dead.

A place of trees and of the passing seasons.

A place of people’s stories

Of memories and most of all – Love

Let us be still here, this place of contemplation

And let us mingle our laughter with our tears

As we strengthen our loving ties with those

Who have gone before us as we let go of the darkness

Of grief, of loss and pain and allow ourselves to experience the

Light of their love in the deepest places of our hearts.

We all need to be affirmed and to be appreciated. As the flowers need nurturing to grow so we need to be loved and wanted, to be admired, to be cherished and encouraged to become well adjusted human beings. If this is denied in childhood we can grow into dysfunctional adults.

In many ways celebrancy is 'theatre.' Celebrants are the 'actor/director' and the ceremony is the 'script' and no matter what anyone says, actors love affirmation. We need to know we are giving a top performance and doing the best we possibly can for our clients. However, we always should remember that we are not the leading actor rather we are the narrator who ties everything neatly together in the way our clients wish their ceremony to be.

As with any creative process the artist, or the celebrant in this case, will add something of themselves into what they create. As Johnny Depp said, "With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it's just not acting. It's lying."

I know if I have performed a ceremony really well just as I know equally well if my performance wasn't quite as good as it should have been. Self evaluation is important but there is nothing like the feeling that your 'audience' is with you, that you have created such a rapport that they, are metaphorically, hanging upon my very lips to madly misquote Dr. Chasuble in 'The Importance of Being Ernest.'Oscar Wilde! 

Receiving thanks and affirmations after I have taken a ceremony mean a great deal to me as they do to any Celebrant I am sure. Yet, sometimes we need to remember to affirm ourselves as well and be proud of our achievements. We need to metaphorically pat ourselves on the back and give ourselves a big, beautiful 'bouquet' and celebrate ourselves!

Celebrate! 

Celebration is an expression of Gratitude.

Gratitude is like the prayer, while

Celebration is the hymn and sacred dance.

Celebration is its own road to happiness.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie