Cruising

Today was a 'time-out' day with a group of local women on a bus trip to Auckland. We went on a Harbour Cruise which we all enjoyed but I couldn't help smiling to myself as I gazed up at the towering opulence of the Queen Elizabeth and the Sun Princess (the original Loveboat) who were in today.


No, the harbour cruise will be fine for me. Waitemata Harbour is a magical, beautiful place especially on such a glorious day. It reminded me of the many weddings I had been involved with over the years that were held on either the many boats used as 'venues' for weddings or the various islands where I have officiated as a Marriage Celebrant such as Rangitoto, Waiheke and Kawau.


Magical memories that rose to the surface as we surged through the waves. Memories of a couple being piped aboard by a piper, of dressing in a Twenties costume for a themed wedding, everyone toasting the happy couple with a shot of vodka specially sent from Russia where the smiling, elegant bride came from.


Of cruising along into the setting sun and cheering as the Bride and Groom had their first dance, of gazing up at the starlit sky and seeing the lights of Auckland City reflected in the water. Magical moments.


I also recalled leaning on the rails and watching the waves and remembering the times I went out on the harbour with Chris, my late husband, and feeling those waves of grief wash over me once again. 


I have always likened my grief to being afloat on the sea. Initially, I was dragged under, I was drowning, then slowly I would come up to the surface. I began to float only to be dragged down again into the blackness. But every time I would look for the light and the light would lift me up again.  


I have always believed that most people have amazing resilience, that we must never give up and that life is to be lived even when the one we love the most, our soul mate, dies. I also believe that the deeper we love the deeper the pain of loss.


So we have to find a new purpose in life. I found that through my family and friends and by becoming a marriage celebrant. 

I also discovered that life didn't have to be lived at a totally frenetic pace but could be more enjoyable when I slowed down somewhat and cruised through life a bit more. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." Today was a good reminder to do just that!