Pre-Funeral Preparation Guide

Pre-Funeral Preparation Guide For An Adult who has Chosen to Have a

Civil Life Celebration Funeral Ceremony

Compiled by Wanda Brittain – Celebrant ©

1 - Life Celebration Questionnaire –

In preparing a ceremony prior to a person dying it is important for the person or family concerned and your celebrant, to gain as much information about your loved one as possible so this can be used to create a living word picture of them in the ceremony. This is an opportunity for you all to talk about your life and relationships together.

It is also an opportunity for the person dying to say what they would like to have in their Celebration ceremony. An empowering process for them and for all concerned.

The following is a list of simple questions as a guide to enable you to  do this together. Feel free to work with whichever ones you think are pertinent and that you feel comfortable with, in whatever way is best for you.

You may, of course, have other questions or topics you would like to include as well. The questions below are a guide

1.      What kind of person are they? Out-going, retiring, assertive, ego-centred, caring, spiritual, shy, supportive, loving, funny, encouraging, inspiring, controlling, humorous, musical, artistic, a lover of life, contented, serene, etc?

2.      What are or were their main interests in life? When young, and in later life?

3.      Do or did they have a wide circle of friends and were they involved in any organisations?

4.       Are they or were they keen on sports, arts or cultural pursuits etc? Would anyone like to speak from any of these groups if applicable, at the ceremony?

5.      Life History (in brief) for example: where born, parents names, schooling, did they go to university, what was their work history? If married or with a partner how did they meet and when and where married, children, continuing career, travel and anything else that you would like to mention or is appropriate. Did they do any voluntary work? If so what kind of work?

6.      A Life Narrative can be compiled by the family and read by the celebrant however, if there is a family member or friend who would like to do the Life Story or a Eulogy this would be much more personal.

7.      Would there be others amongst the family or friends who would like to share a reading, a poem or pay their tribute to their loved one in their own way. Children often like to do this and personally, I think this is a really positive experience for them and so encourage it. Although it might be scary standing up in front of people a group of family members and friends can go up to the front together, or just stand together for mutual support.

8.      What were the aspects of their life, values, examples, morals, beliefs that they valued most and shared with others? If family what have you learnt from them and how did this person help you become the person/s you are today?

9.      What special memories are there of childhood, holidays, things you did together, family occasions etc?

10.  What were their real passions in life?

11.  Did they have a particular love of music and if so would they (or you) like some particular pieces in the ceremony  - at the beginning, in the time of Quiet Reflection and at the end perhaps?

12.  Did they have any favourite sayings, any funny little habits etc. that you remember, even those annoying little ones?

13.  Would they like to choose a particular reading or poem to be read on their behalf or have a piece of music played? If possible they might like to do this themselves and record it.

14.  If you are going to have a slide show of photos of the person you might be able to do this together with them before death. This can be a really special time of healing and togetherness. A good time to show the slide show might be before the ceremony begins as people are gathering, during the Quiet Reflection to a chosen piece of music, and at the end. If it is going throughout the ceremony it can be distracting to what is being said during the ceremony.

15.  You might prefer to prepare a static display of photos that can be in a prominent position when people enter the venue.

16.  Your loved one might like to help with the creation of their service sheet as well in collaboration with the Celebrant and Funeral Director.

17.  What lasting memories of them will you carry with you into the future?

18.  Other things to consider are timing and your Celebrant and Funeral Director can assist you here.

19.  Will there be a burial or will it be a cremation? Again, your Celebrant and Funeral Director can assist you here.

20.  There are possibly other things and other questions to be dealt with or asked as these will come to mind I am sure. This can be a time of reflection, healing, and resolution but more than anything it is a time of sharing your love and feelings with your loved one is a totally personal and appropriate way. Throughout this process your Celebrant and Funeral Director will be there to advise and assist you with their professional experience and understanding. ©